They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
