do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
