You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
