She announced her abortion via fbk
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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