You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
