ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just invented taco cereal.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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