That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize