those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
