it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
