A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
