my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
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All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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