discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
