I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
