so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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