Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
