just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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