in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
