And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Houston, we have a squirter
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
