Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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