Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have demons in me.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
