Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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