You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
