So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
