the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
