I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
