And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I party with great urgency now.
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