I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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