help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize