I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
