I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
