you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize