if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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