what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
