I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize