Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
