she was so not down for the gang bang
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Randomize
