Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
