your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
