Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
