You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
