The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
