I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My feet surprised me
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