I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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