my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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