I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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