She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
