I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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