think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it glows. i had to have it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
