worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
