9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm having to shit out rocks
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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