Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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