today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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