I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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