Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You brought string cheese to the strip club
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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