GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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