we have pet lesbian snakes
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
