Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
