i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize